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this entry may only be significant to, umm, two of you or so, but i just had the weirdest experience.

i slept (yay me) for the first time. from about 7:30 til about 12:40. And then i woke up hungry. So i decided, okay, not a problem, i'll eat something. While my food was heating up i turned on the food network. On this show, they were talking about degrees in Food Studies - not food science (like nutrition) or culinary arts - but food studied for it's anthropological, economical, and other -ical impacts. So I'm zoning, and waiting for the microwave to beep, when they flash on to someone from BU saying how much she loves it and they go back to her later on and there she's talking about how she wants to write a middle eastern cookbook, and then she said something else. I wasn't really listening because i was still in shock.

And this is the part that is only significant to a few of you - the reason i was in shock was that the name of that woman speaking was Charissa Melnik - and be damned if it didn't look just like Charissa from good ol' deerfield. I think it might have actually been her.


I'm going to lock down this entry. I'm going to lock down this entry so you two cannot continue to communicate via my livejournal, instead of you two continuing to think this is in any way an appropriate place to do this, but just in case, Charissa, you were wondering who i am - allow me to tell you.

My name is Casey and you probably have no clue who I am because I wasn't really meaningful in anyway to your life. While I was probably nothing more than dirt under your shoe, allow me to inform you that you, Charissa, made an indelible impression upon me.

Want to know how you managed that? Oh, go on, of course you do. Keep reading.

You made such a fabulous impression upon me, Charissa, by tormenting me in seventh grade when you were in the eighth. When I was in seventh, had just started at frontier from a different school district and knew absolutely no one, you took it upon yourself with your friends to harrass me at lunch and outside of lunch until finally i spent three quarters of the year hiding in the girls locker room as often as possible and not eating because it wasn't worth it.

You, Charissa, and your friends who had no idea who I was except that I happened to make friends with Deirdre (and Kate - who was new also by the way and thus you had no prior impression of her) booted us from lunch tables, threatened us, and actually while you did not, some of your friends used to throw rocks at me while I was in gym class.

You made me cry. You made me hurt. You made me scared. You made me angry. You did what every classic bitch of a popular junior high group of people do to those they consider worthy targets but not human beings.

So when you comment that you don't know who I am, I'm not surprised. To you - I'm sure I was nothing. But as to me - you were and remain part of my life that drove me to debating hurting myself on a regular basis, that made me question who i was at every step of my first year of junior high. You were part of the biggest group of bullies who I ever had the horror of coming across. That's who you were.

I'm keeping this post open long enough for you to check back and read this and then i'll be locking it. I have turned off comments so you can find other ways to communicate with your buddies.


i'm struggling with a lot of things in a variety of little ways, but once again, i got caught up in that school of struggle of "when doing the job becomes a concern". And that's an over simplification in this case, because this kid has some problems, truly, but we need to let our students try to go back to less restrictive environments. In fact, it's our job. And I think about the work that I do, that the other people who work at my school on my flist do, and we bust our asses to give these kids the opportunity.

but then it's a problem because we don't have the money, and it's a problem because if they can't succeed, they can't come back to us because the district doesn't have the money, and there doesn't seem to be an easy way to do this and it just sucks some times.

Today/Tonight would be one of those times.

the thing about me is ...

1. i threw out my back on thursday and it sucks.

2. math mcas are tomorrow.

3. sometimes students are jerks but other times they are lovely.

4. i have the new Alex Sanchez (well, new in paperback) and i am toooo excited.

5. we have a dangerous FROST WARNING for tomorrow morning. WTF is going on with the weather???

hot town, summer in the city

la la la.

it's hot hot hot today in Springfield. Well, really, hot hot hot all over, but i'm in springfield, and i'm telling you, it's hot here.

HOWEVER, my third and fourth loads of laundry are in the washer and my first two are in the dryer. There is coolant in my car, i have a date to go to trader joe's later on, I've done some dishes and i'm about to throw everything away in my refrigerator and freezer! (okay, not everything, but i've been slipping, slipping, slipping, and it's time to get myself back on track.)

There are all these adverts on TV right now about how it's almost swim suit season and blah blah blah. Personally I don't care about that. Here's what does motivate me: if i weighed less, maybe i wouldn't feel as warm?

also, my friend lauren got her new tattooooooo! and i want mine!

drinking milk?

number one: I am wearing a shirt from t-shirt hell that says "My Marxist Feminist Dialetic Brings all the boys to the yard".

number two: heatherB, who is now heather not a heatherB because she is married, that's not the point. The point would be that she told me my eye twitch was maybe a lack of dairy or calcium or some such thing so I had a milk this morning.

we'll see what goes on.

good and bad, in list form

still love my wii
opened rhythmic boxing and love it EVEN more
my Turtle is back (Thank you JB!) and not over-heating
made it to work on time
got a new glucose meter
strangers are willing to see me looking pathetic and help me change my tire
when i hit potholes, i do it up RIGHT
learned a new game from Sogg's friend Molly

when i hit potholes, i break rims and tires
the doctor called for follow up to my blood work
the cats did not wake me up this morning so i had ten minutes - literally - to get out the door to my ride
we still only have one car because the Corolla is now with JB
i have gained weight this year, which i hadn't done for the past several

So all in all, my goods out number my bads. Not so bad.

Jan. 16th, 2009

i am home sick. i may rip my uterus out with a fork. and then my nasal cavities. maybe the other order. hard to say.

in other, and FAR MORE IMPORTANT NEWS, my wife had her quarterly staff social thinger at work last night, and she came home with a Wii! She WON a Wii! We own a Wii! and two controllers.

and like a responsible person, i didn't drive to albany for my meeting, even though there was a psychic there to speak to us about what she does. i really wanted to go. but i drove home in a snow storm once before, and it sucked rocks. so no. just no.

but then the snow didn't come. and i was cranky. super cranky.

until my wife sent me this link about where i would have been at the moment in time when this happened:

and maybe it's okay with me that i wasn't at that meeting.

2008 in wrap up

Okay, so here are my triumphs of this year, and keep in mind that they are not in order:

1. Stayed in therapy a whole year.

2. Asserted myself about some things.

3. Re-embraced teaching.

4. Made new friends.

5. Acknowledged loss of old friends.

6. Wrote a full length novella and actually SUBMITTED it to a contest.

7. Didn't get accepted by contest, but survived nonetheless.

8. Survived school year 07-08 and am happy with school year 08-09 so far.

9. While not as well as I could, did survive another year with diabetes.

10. Did things by myself/for myself.

11. Loved my wife.

12. Let my wife love me.

Fun Party Tricks ...

From Fortune Telling and Character Reading by Gabriel Rosiere, written in 1928, Terri did some sort of Kabbalistic and/or Pythagorean numerology on the two of us. (We also did the cats.) It was wild! I may need to convert.

Terri: 684 - Skill attained in art or profession; Established health; Power through union

Me: 1059 - Higher understanding, knowledge; Contentment after struggles; anxiety

Back to writing, but this tickled me to no end.

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